How to deal with depression

Depression can make everyday life feel heavier than it should. It can affect your energy, sleep, appetite, motivation, relationships, and the way you see yourself and the future. If you’re here because you’re wondering how to deal with depression, you’re not alone in asking that question, and there are steps you can take that genuinely help.

According to Jae Lee, Interrelate’s Head of Quality Practice, people might say they’re depressed to describe a range of feelings from having a rough day to a diagnosable mental health condition.

‘Different people use the word differently,’ she says. ‘For this article, we’re talking about a mental health concern or an illness that is diagnosable and treatable and has a certain set of symptoms.

‘However, the management strategies that we talk about can be used no matter what. If people are experiencing periods of low mood, but they're not going to meet criteria for a diagnosis of a major depressive illness, those strategies are still going to be helpful.’

 

What depression can look like in real life

Depression isn’t just feeling sad. For many people, it’s a sustained change in mood, motivation, and day-to-day functioning. As Jae explains, one of the key features is ‘low mood, feeling sad or empty, particularly hopeless’. 

Another core feature is losing interest in things that used to matter, or no longer getting the same sense of enjoyment or connection from them.

Depression can show up in everyday life in ways that are easy to miss at first, including:

• finding it hard to get started, even with basic tasks

• withdrawing from friends, family, and usual activities

• feeling numb, irritable, or emotionally flat

• changes to appetite (eating less or more)

• changes to sleep (including insomnia or oversleeping)

• feeling restless or unable to settle

• difficulties with concentration, memory, or decision-making

You don’t need a checklist to start taking care of yourself. If you recognise yourself in any of these experiences, it may be worth trying a few small, supportive steps now.

 

How can I deal with depression when it starts to creep in?

A common trap with depression is waiting until you ‘feel like it’ to do something supportive. Jae’s advice is clear: ‘If you wait for motivation to do things, it’s not going to happen.’

Instead, start with small, achievable actions. Not ‘get your life together’. Not ‘smash the gym’. Just one step you can manage today.

Try this gentle approach:

1. Pick one task that is genuinely small
   Examples: get out of bed and go to the toilet. Drink a glass of water. Sit outside for two minutes.
   

2. Give yourself permission to stop after that
   This matters. You’re not negotiating with a perfectionist part of your brain. You’re building momentum.
   

3. Add one ‘achievement’ and one ‘comfort’ each day
   Jae suggests building in ‘something that gives you a sense of achievement’ and ‘something that gives you a sense of pleasure’. Sometimes a shower can do both.
   

4. Use a temporary mindset
   Depression often tells you this is forever. Jae recommends reminding yourself that how you feel right now isn’t the full story. You haven’t always felt this way, and you won’t always feel this way.

Small steps won’t fix everything overnight, but they can reduce suffering and help you move towards support.

 

How do I deal with depression without medication?

Medication can be an important part of treatment; however many people want to know what can help beyond it, or what they can do while they’re waiting for a medical appointment. The foundations are often simple, but not always easy, especially when your energy is low.

Focus on what feels realistic right now.

Reduce the things that make depression worse

Jae highlights the impact of substances: ‘limiting drug and alcohol use is a really big one’. Alcohol and other drugs can intensify low mood, disrupt sleep and increase impulsivity.

Support your body with ‘good enough’ basics

Aim for achievable nutrition rather than a perfect plan. If your current baseline is ‘I’m not eating much’, then ‘a piece of fruit today’ is a real win. Depression responds more to consistency than intensity.

Move in ways you can manage

Exercise can be an important part of recovery, but the goal has to match your capacity. If a gym session feels impossible, try a short walk to the end of the street, a few minutes of stretching, standing outside for fresh air and daylight, or gentle movement while a kettle boils.

Limit doomscrolling and comparison

Jae notes it’s not only the negative content that can be unhelpful. The process of scrolling can reinforce the feeling that you’re not achieving anything, and social comparison can feed the ‘everyone else is coping better than me’ story.

 

How to deal with depression on your own in everyday moments

Even when you have support, there are moments when you’re alone with your thoughts. One practical tool Jae recommends is creating distance from difficult thinking.

She suggests adding the phrase ‘I’m having a thought that…’ before a distressing thought. For example:

• ‘I’m having a thought that nothing will change.’

• ‘I’m having a thought that I’m a burden.’

This simple shift helps remind you that thoughts are experiences, not facts. As Jae says, it ‘gives you that tiny bit of distance’ from the belief that the thought is absolute truth.

It can also help to name the feeling that comes with the thought, such as sadness, hopelessness, or frustration. This creates space to respond more gently, rather than getting pulled deeper into the spiral.

If you’re wondering how to deal with depression by yourself, it’s also important to recognise context. Depression often develops alongside stress, loss, or ongoing pressure. Acknowledging that your reaction makes sense given what you’re dealing with can reduce shame and self-blame.

 

When to seek professional help

Learning how to deal with depression isn’t about forcing yourself to feel positive or pushing through at all costs. It’s about taking small, doable steps that reduce isolation, support your nervous system, and help you access the right support at the right time, especially if you’re unsure how to deal with deep depression.

If symptoms of depression have been present most days for a couple of weeks, it’s a strong sign to seek professional support. But you don’t have to wait that long. Jae encourages people to reach out earlier if they notice things starting to slip, especially when there are multiple stressors at play and changes in sleep, mood, or coping are becoming harder to manage.

Getting support early can help put structure and routines in place before symptoms intensify, reduce the overall load of life stressors, and build practical strategies when you still have more capacity and clarity to use them.

If you’re unsure where to start, speaking with your GP is often a helpful first step. Psychologists, counsellors, and other trusted service providers can also offer support. For children and young people, school wellbeing teams and youth services can help guide next steps and connect families with appropriate care.

Interrelate supports individuals and families by helping people make sense of what can feel like one overwhelming ‘ball of problems’. Through counselling and family support services, people are supported to break challenges down into smaller, more manageable pieces and rebuild steadier routines over time.

If you’d like support for yourself, your relationship, or your family, Interrelate is here to help. You can learn more about our Counselling For You and Mental Health Support services, or take the next step by reaching out to our team today.

If you’re in immediate danger, or you feel unable to keep yourself safe, call emergency services on 000. You can also contact Lifeline 13 11 14 (24/7), the Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 (24/7), or Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636.